strength in numbers?!
we all know by now (& if you don’t now you do) that your girl is a type a, perfectionist at the core. i struggle with having these neurotic feelings over perfection in a lot of areas of my life. lately, that has been hurting my overall mental health.
i had bariatric surgery a little over 2 years ago & if i am honest, i thought i would have lost more weight by now. not necessarily because of the surgery itself, simply because i would have adapted the habits utilizing the tool of the gastric sleeve over the last 2 years. however, while i did lose 125lbs the first year post op, i have struggled to lose even a single lb more than that this past year.
i became positively fixated on the numbers. the number on the scale, the grams of protein i was eating daily, balancing protein, carbs, fat & fiber, the number of minutes i worked out for how many days a week, the number of steps i got each day, the hours of sleep i got each night … it has become a problem.
i so badly wanted to meet these goals that i was imposing on myself that i was actually adding stress onto my body that was only doing me a disservice in reaching my actual goal, to be healthy.
i recently was referring to an endocrinologist to be tested for hashimotos disease. if you’re not super familiar with it (neither am i honestly) but the bit i have gathered would have at least required me to go gluten free. not a huge deal because i don’t eat a ton of gluten on the regular anyway, but it felt like just another thing to track & worry about.
i got my bloodwork back from the endocrinologist & turns out i not only didn’t have hashimotos, i also am the healthiest i have ever been as an adult. i have reversed my hypothyroidism and my insulin resistance! i am talking my TSH is in the dang 2’s which has never been the case & my insulin went from in the 50’s to a 12! he actually congratulated me on the dang follow up call, telling me with the exception of needing to lose more weight because well I DO (BMI & all) i needed to simply keep doing what i was doing in terms of food choices, movement, etc.
the therapy i get from making sourdough bread might be the best benefit of all
here are some ways i am combatting overthinking & relieving stress when it comes up:
morning sunlight - i have been loving waking up & making a hot cup of organic decaf green tea then literally putting my face in the sun. some mornings it’s not up yet or it’s too dang cold but i also love this light that mimics natural sunlight for those days!
digging into my bible - i also love to connect with the lord. lately, when i need to just brain dump i find myself actually doing it in the form of gratitude or prayer & utilizing devotionals & my bible has been a great tool for me.
when in doubt, work it out - shocked, i know but working out has become something i enjoy! i love to work up a sweat to some loud music, work my muscles & then look even more forward to the quiet, hot shower after & the self care i usually indulge in at least once a week since i usually have the house to myself!
lastly, i have focused more on eating intuitively & i have stopped tracking! i do pop in once a week when meal planning to make sure i am hitting my protein goals but i have adapted the rinse & repeat method with food planning & trust that by now, i have the proper understanding of what my body needed to stay healthy. i am on a weight loss journey so i do continue to weigh myself but only weekly now & i am not just focusing on the weight. i got this scale to also assess muscle tone & more to really celebrate my overall success!
at the end of the day, for me, it’s become more about being intuitive with my health & learning to enjoy food & nourish well. i am a work in progress still, but a happy one.
