overcoming perfectionism
i would be lying if i said this blog was easy to write. it actually brought quite a bit of big feelings to the surface for me. you see, i am a perfectionist. actually to the point of being neurotic. what i wanted to write about today though, is something that surprised me lately.
it had been really challenging for me to build solid plans & actually stick to them because i was finding myself constantly needing to perfect the plan with the most minor inconvenience. let me give you an example: in 2023 i focused on building my evening routine. i went “backwards” building my ideal day (which i highly suggest!) because i believed at night, we set ourselves up for a great following day.
what it came down to was i was putting too much pressure on myself to be perfect. i was allowing intrusive thoughts to take over my physical ability to complete tasks within my routine. so here’s what i did.
first, i made the decision to start small. i didn’t want to overwhelm myself initially so i chose to pair things i was already doing with things i wanted to start doing. for example, i love my evening tart cherry mocktails. i paired this mocktail with my bible journaling that i really wanted to be more intentional about. the best part? i was also able to add red light therapy, a new self care add to my routine to this time at the same time! habit stacking has become crucial for my perfectionist heart because i am finding joy in these items, they don’t feel like tasks to me & i feel like i am truly investing in myself.
when it came to mornings however, your girl is not a morning person BUT i really wanted to love the start to my days too! given my evenings, i was waking up better with a positive start! mornings are more productive while evenings focused on winding down & self care. i approached it the same way, stacking habits i had to do with things that brought me joy & including things that i wanted to do for myself!
i chose a few self care items last year that i wanted to incorporate into my mornings. i wanted to start doing sunrise walks to get some time outdoors. i paired this with listening to some of my favorite podcasts! movement wasn’t always a favorite thing of mine but i actually love it now & look forward to this kick start it gives me to my day!
i also wanted to start wellness shots, ice dunking my face & listening to worship music in the mornings post sunrise walk! the best part? the wellness shots i began prepping once weekly for the week ahead so it takes literally a minute to take it & only about another minute or 2 to ice dunk my face! i listen to worship music while doing those things as well as emptying the dishwasher & throwing a load of laundry in, other things that would normally feel like mundane tasks but i am bringing joy into them!
it was when i began focusing on how i wanted to build my ideal day that i realized i had let go of a lot of the pressure i was putting on myself to be perfect because i was finding joy in the routines i had created! the best part about this though? usually when i built routines & stayed with them for a bit, when something would come up like an illness running through our home, exactly what happened the last 2 weeks over here, it would have really thrown me for a loop! i would have sulked into my proverbial corner & through my routines out the window wallowing in the change of brynlee not doing to school, my husband being home, me not feeling my best, etc. now, did i get my full routines done every single day? no BUT i realized as we were coming back into a regular routine this week that i never let it bother me like it usually did.
i did bits & pieces of my routines, caught up on bible time, took a spa shower on a random monday afternoon & really just let myself get back into the swing of things naturally instead of beating myself for being off track, overhauling the routine to make it “change proof”, etc & yes i have done both of those before.
i really want to emphasize here that you need to build the ideal day that works for you! i work from home, you might go to a traditional job, you may homeschool where i send my daughter to a traditional school, it’s all about finding what works for you! if you want help with this, i have developed a guide to help you figure out what’s important to you to build your ideal day. you can download it here.
